This rings so deep and true in my heart right now. I don't even know where to begin explaining why or how. But I'll try.
So much of our lives in the past year have been so far out of the box I lived most of my life in, and I love it! I don't ever want to be boxed in by that old way of thinking, yet some days I find myself trying to find a new box to hide in. Some days I feel so exposed and so vulnerable and want desperately for those old relationships back, that once made me feel so connected, but now due to our current situation and theology have become distant and awkward. It is on these days that I feel the struggle between my flesh and the Spirit. My flesh wanting to be comfortable and just go through life at ease, and the Spirit telling me to step outside and reach out to people who need Him. The Spirit in me placing the desire to be a vessel by which He can manifest His healing power and love to a dying world versus my flesh that keeps saying, "What if nothing happens? You'll look stupid. and you'll tarnish the name of the Lord." But then...this quote happens to pop up on my facebook feed,
"If you want to learn to swim jump into the water.
On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you."
We all know what it's like to stick our toes in the water, and then slowly walk in trying to get used to each stage of getting wet until we finally are in past our waist and can finally put our heads under. We all know that it's so much easier (and less painful) to just dive in all at once. The water doesn't seem so scary and cold when we just dive in and get it over with. We realize that it's actually enjoyable and we begin to swim. Yet, for some reason we fear the pain of the cold and we slowly endure it until we either jump out and give up, or finally give in and dunk our heads under and swim.
To walk the talk, it means stepping out of my cozy little box and jumping in. Not just peaking out and maybe standing on the edge, wading, getting my toes wet, trying to convince myself and summon up some sort of courage to brave the water. Which is basically what I've been doing spiritually speaking concerning this growth in this area of my authority in Christ. He's prompting me, ever so gently (yet bluntly I might add! He doesn't mince words!), to dive in head first. If I truly want to walk in Belief I have to jump in ALL the way. There is no half way with God. It's all or nothing. No amount of time will ever convince my flesh to give itself up and feel comfortable with this. I must step out in faith in the unseen, so that God can be seen!