Spiritual Eyes

Earthly eyes say, "impossible!" Kingdom eyes say, "possible." 

We are spiritual beings not meant to live wholly in the natural. We are spiritual beings meant to see and live in a realm beyond what our earthly eyes can see. It is the darkness of this world that blinds us to the spiritual. That wants us to see through religious eyes, worldly eyes, faithless eyes. But as children of the Light we are to be living and walking in the Light and seeing everything through spiritual eyes. The enemy wants us to stay in the darkness of the natural world. God wants to draw us into the light as He is in the light and break free from the bondage of this world. We were created to feel, see, experience things beyond our imagination on a daily basis. But sin marred that for us. Sin stole that from us. Sin promised something better, but instead stole from us the best. We were created in the image if a triune God, which means Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! When we allow our spirits to break free and live in the spiritual realms, our earthly eyes and other senses are heightened and they too can see things they've never seen before. Instead of our natural eyes determining what is true, what is real, what is possible...now our spirit in line with Holy Spirit and the living Word, determines what is true, real, and possible. And what used to be impossible is now wholeheartedly possible. Now our faith moves those mountains we couldn't see past before. Now every person and every circumstance is seen through eyes of faith, love, and hope. When we walk in Spirit and Truth, when we walk in love and power..anything is possible and we are never without hope. We ARE the hope! 

What sin stole, Jesus paid back in full and the blessed us 10 fold over again! Jesus gave us back the best! So, why are we living like the rest of the world: religious, hopeless, faithless, blind, and powerless? Holy Spirit is inside of us!!! Holy Spirit!!! The One who hung the stars!! The Living Breathing active Word of God is in us!! He is speaking to us! If we listen long enough we'll not only hear Him, but we'll feel Him in us all the time. It's this fire growing and growing so big that it has to come out and you just can't contain it!! 

If you've never felt it before than ask him for it!! 

Ask Him to show you like in Ephesians where Paul prays that we would understand the height the length the width the depth of the love of Christ and the power of his resurrection! 

Ask him to show you how to walk in Spirit and Truth. 

Ask Him to purge darkness out of you so that you can walk fully in the light as He is in the light! Ask Him!! 

Ask Him and He will give you everything!

He will not withhold Himself from you!! But do not withhold yourself from Him! When you ask, You better be prepared to act. His Word is alive and active! It cannot remain dormant. He will expect you to obey His Word. 

Ask Him! 

And when He reveals His Word to you Obey Him! And you will go deeper with Him than you thought possible. Every step of obedience draws you deeper and every step deeper draws you to want more. And whenever you want more He will give it because we were created for Him! We were created for spiritual things! We were not created for natural things! We were created to see and experience Him through spiritual eyes. Every time He reveals more and we are faithful to obey,it's like being flooded with light! It's the best feeling ever! He just takes takes us deeper and deeper until spiritual eyes become the natural for us. He is faithful to complete His good work in us. But we have to seek Him. We have to want Him. We have to choose to throw off the natural and jump in with our whole heart believing that when we do, He won't disappoint. 

Through natural eyes, it's all about what's in it for me? What reward do I get for my obedience? If I obey, what will I get? What do I have to sacrifice if I obey? 

Through spiritual eyes it's All about Him. It is no sacrifice! 

He is the prize! 

When He becomes your prize you are in want of nothing. 

When you are in want of nothing you have nothing to lose. 

And everything to gain.

Qualified or not?

So, you've been told you are unqualified. Now what?

If I'm not qualified then, what's my purpose? What else can I love? What else can I do? I thought I was going after my purpose. I thought this is what God wanted for me, but now I don't know.

Any of this ring true for you? Do you feel defeated? beat down? useless?

What should you do? It's actually pretty simple. IGNORE THEM!

People may say you are unqualified, but they aren't the ones who get to decide that. God is. God qualifies you! If He says you are qualified, then Ignore those naysayers and keep running your race! What is impossible with men is possible with God! (Luke 18:27)

This happened to my husband and I this past year. We were told that we could no longer be trusted with the ministry of the Gospel and removed from our ministry of 8 years. But, God met us there in that moment, and though it hurt, He healed those wounds and encouraged our hearts. He made us bold in His Spirit, and placed us in a church family where we can use our gifts and where we are wanted and needed. We could have given up, and agreed with them. Instead we stopped listening to the naysayers and started listening to the voice of God and allowed Him to direct us to His perfect plan and purpose for our lives.

Acts 5:17-41 is one of my favorite passages of Scripture this year. I'm not going to get into the whole thing, but go ahead and look it up if you want to read the whole thing.

Basically, the apostles were facing some pretty powerful naysayers, telling them they had to stop preaching and healing in the Name of Jesus. What was their response? They just kept preaching and healing in the Name of Jesus! Here's what they said:

"The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.” Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than men!"

When people tell you that you are not qualified to do what God has called you to do, they are just like the Sanhedrin who told the apostles not to preach in Jesus Name. Your response should be the same, "(I) must obey God rather than men!" and then get back out there and use the gifts the Spirit of God has given you in Jesus Name!

Beauty and Strength in Weakness

There is a restlessness in me. It has been there for quite some time.

One leg of my race has been completed. It is in the past. It was a long one. 8 years to be exact. I was tempted to look back at that part of my race and longed to run back, but if I had kept looking behind me, I'd miss out on what's in front of me, and very possibly trip and stumble and get hurt. I can't run with excellence if I'm laying on the ground injured. Or if I turn around and actually run backward, I won't finish the race going the wrong way. I have to keep my eyes up toward that finish line, and continue running.

What's done is done. It is in the past, and He is doing a NEW thing! Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I'm not used to living in a stage of undefined ministry. Of sitting quietly with no outlet for what is longing to burst out of me. I'm like that little kid with the biggest secret of her life, and she's not allowed to tell. She's just sitting on her hands, bouncing and wiggling, and can barely sit still. Then finally, someone says, "ok, go ahead. You can tell the secret now." And the biggest smile you'll ever see spreads across her face, and she jumps up, clapping and shouting out the news for all to hear, probably so fast those listening can barely understand what she's trying to say. I feel like that little girl is me, and I'm sitting on my hands just longing to share what is in me, but not exactly sure how and when.

I long for the mundane to become purposeful. For the boring to become exciting again. Don't get me wrong, this time of rest has been so needed and the Lord has ordained this time over our lives. He specifically told both my husband and I that this was a time of preparation, so be patient. He said He was preparing us for something big, and when the time is right He will propel us forward and it will all become clear.

But I feel Him stirring something up within me for this next phase of preparation. I feel like He's ready for me to take the next step of faith in this. I feel like He is making my giftings and passions more clear, and He is telling me it's time to begin picking up the pace. We ran hard for 8 years in this marathon of life and ministry, then we've had the last 2 years to walk and drink some water and make sure our laces are tied, and now He's saying it's time to pick up the pace a bit. Not too much. Just a speed walk for now, and soon we'll start a slow jog.

This restlessness can be frustrating at times, but I'm beginning to see it as a beautiful gift from God. It forces me to not be content sitting still, to not be content to remain where I am or to remain in the past, but forces me to move forward and to seek out His purposes for me.

Those giftings and passions that I mentioned are becoming more clear to me...and yes, they are the very things that in my flesh I would avoid like the plague. And yet what I fear the most seems to very possibly be the thing that the Lord has chosen to use to fulfill His purposes in me and through me. The very things that I feel most unqualified for, God has not only qualified me and gifted me, but enabled me through His Spirit.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

The beauty of this truth is coming alive to me at this stage of my life. The very things that are weak in me, God intends to use to make His name big and to show Himself strong. The very things that I feel unqualified for, He intends to use so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. For when I am weak, then HE is strong!

What the Lord has called me to do, He will enable me to do. I can place my inadequacies, fear and insecurities aside and take those steps forward, forgetting what is behind, in confidence that His Spirit will work it out through me ("He is faithful to complete what He has started!! Phil.1:6), and when I am weak then (hopefully) nothing of me will get in the way of making Him big! He has begun my race, and He will finish it. So, here I go, running that race, seeking out some living water to strengthen and keep me pressing on to the finish line. Oh! How I long to complete the purposes He has planned for me, and to finish this race well.

Perfect Love

There is a desire that has been on the increase in my heart for awhile now. That desire is to see women living out their full potential, living in the abundant life in Christ, fulfilling their God given destiny and calling over them with confidence and boldness. I'm seeing more and more women living in defeat, living in fear, missing out on this incredible love of Christ! We, as women, need to rise up and stand together. To lift each other up, and stop comparing ourselves to one another, and begin drawing from each others strengths. To stop being intimidated by one another, but strengthened by one another. No condemnation! No fear! And this, is where this post is coming from. Because I was there. There are days when I'm tempted to go there again, and days when I do go there again. Because the enemy is constantly shouting lies at me, and I need my sisters to stand up with me against those lies and help me to stand firm in the faith, as I will for you.

This post is personal for me. I lived much of my life in depression and anxiety, and this is my heart for women struggling with the same thing.

 Depression, anxiety...and a host of other mental illnesses. Real, personal, suffering, life altering, deep, dark. In our humanness, a hopeless, life long battle. But, dare I say, instead of manageable...conquerable?

For those suffering in this way, what does 2 Timothy 1:7 mean for them? "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

What does Jesus mean for them when He says, "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

And what about the following verses?

 Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Galatians 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

2 Corinthians 3:17, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

John 8:31-32, "So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."

Psalm 103:2-4, "Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with loving kindness and compassion;"

Psalm 71:20b, "You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth You will again bring me up."

I struggled through depression for many years. I functioned ok, and I had my highs, but I had extreme lows. When asked to describe how it felt, the only thing I could think of was a deep, black pit with no hope of ever getting out. I felt completely out of control like something was holding me there. I would come out for awhile, but inevitably I'd sink back in. It was a constant struggle. People were there for me when I needed them, tried to be understanding, and show me compassion. And, I needed that! They helped get me through another day. Yet, I remained in my hopelessness. No one offered me hope. No one spoke truth over me, or stood firm in the faith for me. They just allowed me to remain there. They said things like, "God has entrusted this suffering to you" and "how beautiful it is that you push through despite this," and "He is glorified through your depression." Then, as David said in the Psalms, I cried out to God and He answered me.  Jesus broke through. 

Jesus says that He is the "light of the world." He shone a light in my darkness, and He began to speak truth over my life. He began to show me the truth of what God's Word says about me. He showed me what I looked like through the eyes of a loving Father who gave His very Son to give me new and abundant life.

John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."

The enemy came to destroy me, and began to devour me. But Jesus reminded me that He gave me life MORE abundantly. That little word "more," carries the meaning of continuous increase. I could increase in my depression and continue to sink "more and more" into my depression. I could accept it as my life long battle, and strive to have faith despite it all. Or I could do a 180 and increase in the abundant life that Jesus paid such a high price for. 

Did I need a slap upside the head and a "get over it!" speech? or did I need to be coddled and given the "God gave this to you to strengthen you" speech? Honestly, neither. I needed comfort and compassion, and I needed truth spoken over me. I needed faith instead of fear. I needed someone to step in and begin to break the stronghold of depression and anxiety over my life. Did someone do that for me? Honestly. No. But, I cried out the Lord and in His faithfulness, His Grace and Mercy, He rescued me. He "restore(d) my life again; from the depths of the earth..." (Psalm 71:20b). 

What was that truth that He spoke over me, that He showed me in His Word that brought me up out of that hopelessness?

 He began to show me what I looked like through the eyes of a loving Father who gave His very Son to set me free. He gave His Son to pay for sin and death so I could receive His very Spirit! He began to show me all I am in Christ. I am not hopeless because I have eternal life. I am not defined by depression. I am a child of the living God! I have been seated in the heavenly realms, filled to the measure of the fullness of God! He gave me hope. He gave me purpose. He gave me HIS unconditional love.

In the darkness, there is fear. So much of my life, I spent in fear. Fear that I would never get out of the darkness, and strangely enough fear of leaving the darkness. I began to believe the lie that this was a struggle that God gave me to grow me and show His glory through me. I began to believe that this was something that I would just have to live with the rest of my life, but could be victorious through it as if God had entrusted me with some "gift of suffering" called "depression." My brothers and sisters, that was a lie from Satan! Stop being deceived! We have a faithful, loving Father who has clearly said over and over in His Word that He sent His Son to give us LIFE, and not just a stagnant life, but a Life MORE abundantly!! HIS very life IN us! An abundant life that is meant to continually increase! So, if God didn't give this to me, and I can't console myself with the thought that He ordained this and I can continue to "suffer victoriously" through this, than why am I here in this pit? Take a look at the first part of John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." Satan wants us to remain in our weakness, but God says that we go from "strength to strength." If Satan can get us to believe that this is something we have to live with because it's from God, then He can steal the power and authority that Christ gave you. It is YOURS! Don't give it up! Don't hand over your birthright to the enemy! We have to stop looking at depression, anxiety, and mental disorder through the lens of the world, through the lens of our humanity. We have to put on our spiritual lenses and see these struggles through the Word of God. So what does the Word say? 

Ephesians 6:11-13, "Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.…"

Through my human thinking, and what the world likes to label as mental disorder, I would look at my situation as a flesh and blood struggle. But God says that my struggle isn't against flesh and blood, but it is against spiritual forces of evil. So, if He says in John 10:10 that enemy has come to kill, steal and destroy, but He has come to give life MORE abundantly, and in Ephesians says that my struggle isn't against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil, then I need to put on my spiritual lenses and stand firm against those schemes of the devil. 1 Peter 5 says that the devil is like a roaring lion, seeking who He may devour. But, He has give us His very Spirit. He has given us HIS armor so we can stand firm, and resist the devil! 

What does this mean for someone with depression and anxiety? It means there is hope! God doesn't expect you to live with this. God says He has given you LIFE abundant! He desires to see you walk in that abundance in Christ, to not just know you have all spiritual blessings, but to experience all spiritual blessings! He wants you to know that He is a loving Father who did NOT give you depression! The enemy is doing that to you! Don't let him! Deliverance can come quickly for some, but for many deliverance is not an overnight thing. It takes time, faith, endurance, patience, and completely saturating yourself in the Word of truth and light and standing firm against the enemy by declaring truth when the lies try to destroy you. There were nights when I was on my knees in the darkness, crumbling under the lies, and crying out with all that is in me "NO!! I AM a child of the living God! You have NO authority here! I have been given ALL authority in Christ and no one can take that authority from me without my permission!" I had to declare the blood of Christ over myself and claim that freedom that I so ignorantly gave away for far too long. For some it is a long road to recovery and complete healing and freedom, but know this. There IS Hope! There IS Light! His Name is Jesus, and He has come to bind the broken hearted and set the captives FREE! "The truth will set you Free!" (John 8:32)

The world calls it depression, but I think a more accurate word based on reading in the Word that this is a spiritual battle, not a fleshly battle, would be "oppression." We are oppressed by the enemy, not by God. But we don't have to be! We, as believers, need to get down on our knees in  battle with those in the pit. To come along side in compassion and love, to show them the love of Christ that surpasses all understanding. To stop buying in to the lies and declare His Word of truth over them. To stand firm along side them, so they too can be strengthened and lifted up out of that pit to stand. "To know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance IN His Holy people." (Eph 1:18) To walk with them through this battle so they can truly know with all their heart what it means when He says, He has not given us a "spirit of fear, but of POWER, and LOVE, and a SOUND MIND."

Ultimately what brought me out of that pit was the unconditional love of Christ! What kept me out of the pit was the knowledge of Ephesians 6:11-13 to put on the full armor of God so I could resist the evil and stand firm.

It was a process. One where God had compassion for me, not condemnation. Romans 8:1-2,"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.…" 

One where He came right down in the depths with me, wrapped His arms around me and showed me with His unfailing love. One where, He held up a mirror and showed me the image of His Son, perfect, pure and righteous. Holy and blameless. One where He drove out my fear with His love, and placed His armor on me so I could learn to stand firm and victorious. We are more than conquerors through Christ! (Romans 8:37)

I will end with a paragraph by Beth Moore, followed by my prayer for you.

"The God who beckons you to love more and more cannot love you more. No matter how you grow in diligence and obedience, you cannot increase His affection for you. No matter how faithful you become, you won't get a boost in your love-ability. At your darkest moment, you were loved to the fullest measure; the same is true at your lightest moment. You and I have no power to affect divine love. It is perfect. All we are left to do is ask to know it more and more. And right there in the increase, a miracle of decrease if forced into play; as we are more and more aware of His love, we fear less and less. For "perfect love drives out fear." (1 John 4:18)." - Beth Moore ("Children of the Day, 1&2 Thessalonians)

My prayer for you in Ephesians 1 and 3:

 

(photos from Christine Caine's facebook posts)

Learning to Swim

This rings so deep and true in my heart right now. I don't even know where to begin explaining why or how. But I'll try.

So much of our lives in the past year have been so far out of the box I lived most of my life in, and I love it! I don't ever want to be boxed in by that old way of thinking, yet some days I find myself trying to find a new box to hide in. Some days I feel so exposed and so vulnerable and want desperately for those old relationships back, that once made me feel so connected, but now due to our current situation and theology have become distant and awkward. It is on these days that I feel the struggle between my flesh and the Spirit. My flesh wanting to be comfortable and just go through life at ease, and the Spirit telling me to step outside and reach out to people who need Him. The Spirit in me placing the desire to be a vessel by which He can manifest His healing power and love to a dying world versus my flesh that keeps saying, "What if nothing happens? You'll look stupid. and you'll tarnish the name of the Lord." But then...this quote happens to pop up on my facebook feed,

"If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. 

On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you." 

We all know what it's like to stick our toes in the water, and then slowly walk in trying to get used to each stage of getting wet until we finally are in past our waist and can finally put our heads under. We all know that it's so much easier (and less painful) to just dive in all at once. The water doesn't seem so scary and cold when we just dive in and get it over with. We realize that it's actually enjoyable and we begin to swim. Yet, for some reason we fear the pain of the cold and we slowly endure it until we either jump out and give up, or finally give in and dunk our heads under and swim.

To walk the talk, it means stepping out of my cozy little box and jumping in. Not just peaking out and maybe standing on the edge, wading, getting my toes wet, trying to convince myself and summon up some sort of courage to brave the water. Which is basically what I've been doing spiritually speaking concerning this growth in this area of my authority in Christ. He's prompting me, ever so gently (yet bluntly I might add! He doesn't mince words!), to dive in head first. If I truly want to walk in Belief I have to jump in ALL the way. There is no half way with God. It's all or nothing. No amount of time will ever convince my flesh to give itself up and feel comfortable with this. I must step out in faith in the unseen, so that God can be seen!

He wants my heart

The passage from ifequip today was, again, very poignant. The Lord has been encouraging me and giving me the ability to not worry about what others think right now. I'd rather obey God, then men (Acts 5:29). The more confidence I have in my God, the less I care what others think. But, there is still that part of me that wants to convince others that we aren't crazy! That we aren't deceived!  To somehow convince them with my words that this is from God, and make them see His Word the way we see it. But, I know that, that doesn't work. I was there just a few short months ago. I was the one my husband was trying to convince, and I wouldn't hear it. It didn't matter what he said. If I didn't want to believe it, I wasn't going to. But, the Lord was working. I called out to Him and asked Him what is right and what is wrong? Which way do I go on this issue? He didn't answer my specific question. He knew that if He did, I still wouldn't believe. I'd still question the answer and think "is that really what He meant?" He doesn't want my mind. He wants my heart. And so, His answer was simply, "My daughter, obey me." I knew what was very clear in the Word and the things that I knew I was not obeying Him in. As I began to obey Him in those areas that I did know, He began to open up the Word to me and reveal things to me that I'd never seen before. He began to confirm His Word in my heart so that I didn't just think I knew which side of the issue was right, but I knew and believed deep within my heart. He wants me to trust Him fully, and He dug down to the root of my fear and unbelief and planted His Word deep and strong. He could have just given me the answer, but instead gave me belief in Him and confirmed the answer deep within my heart so that I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is from Him.

We still have so many questions, but as my husband and I walk this out, we won't need to convince others with our words because they will be convinced by our fruit. Like this passage in Acts 5 when the apostles were brought before the religious leaders, one of the Pharisees told them not to worry about the apostles and what they were doing in the name of Christ. He said if this is from men, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop them. Basically, they will know if this is from God by their fruit. What an amazing thought! God's plans will not be thwarted no matter who comes against. If God be for us, who can be against us! This is exactly how we feel right now. We are deeper with the Lord than ever before! We are experiencing peace when those around us are all tied up in knots over this! We are hopeful for how God is repositioning us for ministry! We may have lost one ministry, but God doesn't see it that way. He sees it as the next step of the straight path He can see from beginning to end! What a great God we serve! May we continue to be rooted deep down into Him, firm and secure, growing in Grace and knowledge, bringing others to Christ and glory to Him!

IF: Equip Acts 1:12-26

"All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers." - Acts 1:14

Thanks to a friend, I learned about an online study called If: Equip. They are going through the book of Acts right now. This weeks passage struck me in a whole new way. In light of my current situation, this passage is just so beautiful! 

This passage is right after Jesus appeared to them, gave them instructions, and then ascended to heaven. Then 120 of them gathered together, constantly praying, in one accord. They had to make a decision on whether Mathias or Joseph would be the one to take the place of Judas, who betrayed Jesus and was now dead. The Spirit led them to choose Mathias and not Joseph.

They were of ONE accord, devoted to prayer! If only all believers could devote themselves to prayer and go forward in one accord. If only all decisions in life could be made in this way, totally led and moved by the Spirit of God! 

The main thing that really struck me though was this...

Jesus gave the apostles very specific instructions right before He ascended to heaven...to WAIT! Did they run out and do their own thing anyway instead of waiting for the Spirit like Jesus told them to do. Did they sit there and analyze what Jesus said and say, "Well, did he really mean that? or maybe we were just interpreting him wrong and he really meant this…” No! They just heard what he said and obeyed! They gathered together in one accord in prayer to move forward in obedience to the Words of Jesus. 

We are called to be obedient to the Word regardless of the opinions of men. The only opinion that matters is God's. Do I want, when I come face to face with Jesus, to have any regrets? No! I want to come face to face with Jesus knowing that I risked my life to be obedient to His Word and His calling on my life.  

It’s so hard to sit back and listen to others tell us how wrong we are and that we are the ones causing disunity, when we are merely wanting to follow Christ and go forward together with one purpose. Like I said in a previous post, Priscilla Shirer said it well when she said, “Unity is not sameness. It is oneness of purpose.” Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way. I have to trust that God has a HUGE purpose in this!! Just as Mathias was called to that particular ministry, and Joseph to something else, God is calling us to a particular ministry even though we don’t know what that is yet. Just as these men went forward in obedience to God and were rejected and attacked by others for it, so I will go forward in obedience regardless of the attacks of men. 

I can think that the purposes of men have ruined my life, or I can remember that God uses even the "wrong" choices of men to do His purposes in and through us, and dare to say that God chose them to reject us so that He could re-position us for His purposes and His glory! 

I feel like everything in our life up until this point has prepared and positioned us for this very moment. We are at a pivotal point in our journey, and the Lord has us in this time of waiting and prepartion as He works in us to prepare us a little more for the next step. Like He told the apostles to WAIT before He unleashed His Spirit, so I will WAIT before He unleashes His plan for us. Oh what a joy it is to be right where HE has positioned us to be! What a joy to risk it all for the sake of Christ our Lord! 

Courage

I don't have much to say today. I have much on my heart and mind, but am having a difficult time organizing the jumble in my brain, and putting those thoughts down on paper in a tangible coherent way. Instead I will quote what someone else said that struck me so profoundly. Sarah Young, in her book Jesus Calling, wrote this:

"Be willing to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be...Your desire to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.

Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus in on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign Presence protects you wherever you go."  

- Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

Oneness of Purpose

I've been so saddened by what seems to be the latest fad in Christianity these days. I realize this is probably nothing new, but it seems that it is hitting me full force right now. Godly men attacking other Godly men because they don't agree on certain areas of Scripture, or because they aren't the same denomination and hold to the same interpretations of certain passages of Scripture. They are spending thousands of dollars to hold conferences and produce the dvds and books of these conferences, all based on what? On a difference of opinion.

The Word of God gives allowances for a difference of opinion in some areas that seem quite huge to us. But, as much as we may want to be dogmatic on our opinion and no matter how much we think we are right, we are all fallible. We are all growing and changing in our understanding.

(side note: I'm not saying that there aren't wrong interpretations that actually do go directly against the Word, or have been taken to an extreme that changes the Gospel. We should not stand for obviously unbiblical interpretations that change the Gospel and teach a false view of who God is. But, that isn't my point. My point is when we DO agree on those primary things, and our differences of opinion on these other areas are treated as primary when they shouldn't be).

I don't know why the Lord allows for these differences of opinion, and why He doesn't just come right out and clearly say what we are to think and how we are to interpret these passages. Or maybe He does and we are just not listening clearly enough. Or maybe He doesn't intend for these differences, but sin and pride have caused division. Not to mention how we  tend to forget that we are fighting against "principalities and powers" not against "flesh and blood." Regardless...He IS clear on what NEEDS to be clear! #1, the Gospel!! He is VERY clear on what it is and what it is not. He is VERY clear on His character and His Sovereignty. He is also VERY clear on Unity and Love in the body of Christ.

So, why are we spending thousands of dollars to attack our fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord, calling them heretics or false teachers, because of a difference of opinion instead of being obedient to what God is quite clear on...one of those things being Unity! and another Love!

I love this quote by Pricilla Shirer, "Unity is not sameness. Unity is oneness of purpose." 

Fellow followers of Jesus, we have a common purpose! We desire to see the Gospel taken from here to the ends of the earth, and see His Kingdom advanced and our God glorified. Let's be unified! Let's love one another! John 13:35, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." We agree on everything that is important, so let's stop preaching about who NOT to listen to, and just start preaching the beautiful truths of the Word! Let's stop pointing fingers, and start joining hands!

This can also lead to how we treat unbelievers as-well. Why are we expecting unbelievers to act like believers? They don't know Jesus! They don't have the Holy Spirit! Maybe instead of preaching against immorality and pointing fingers, we should be preaching on the love of Christ who came to save sinners just as they are, sinners acknowledging they are separated from God and need Jesus to give them a right relationship with the Father. The reward of salvation isn't heaven (although that's a enjoyable benefit), the reward is HIM! HE is the reason we need to be saved! We are separated from Him, lost in our darkness. We need to be with Him again to be whole! We need His light! We need His Grace! We need ALL that He is because HE is the prize! I think if we lose sight of that, we lose sight of how to speak the truth into someone's life, and our message becomes one of brimstone and fire rather than a message of Love and Grace.

Instead of approaching unbelievers with "turn from your sin so you can get saved and act like people are supposed to act" speeches, let's start loving them! Showing them it's not about good behavior! It's about a God who came down to die for us! To pay our debt, to make us right with God! When they trust in Christ, they will receive the Holy Spirit who will empower them to produce the fruit of the Spirit and not the flesh.

All that to say, let's stop pointing fingers and show the world the love of Christ in how we treat our brothers and sisters, and also how we treat the world.

I'll end with a few lines from the song, "Love You with the Truth" by Casting Crowns. You can look it up on Youtube if you want to listen.

"When we love, we earn the right to speak the truth.
When we speak truth, we show the world we truly love
I'm not pointing my finger
I'm holding out my hand
I lay it all out on the line now to see God save my friend

Let my life and my words be the proof
I'm going to love you with the truth

It's not about religion or earning God's forgiveness
or magic prayers or new behaviour
It's all about your heart
He'll meet you where you are"

Isaiah 43

This has been a favorite passage of Scripture of mine for years now. Before leaving for the mission field, this became "my verse." In the middle of some of the most difficult times of my life, this verse held promises and truths that I could cling to and carry on and continue trusting in my Lord. Today, I return once again to this passage and in typical God fashion, He highlighted a couple of verse in here and gave them a whole new fresh meaning and application to my current situation. A few verses that somehow didn't mean as much to me as they do now. His Word truly is alive and active! His mercies new every morning! 

I'll copy the whole passage for you at the bottom of this post, but for now these are the verses that have really struck me, that I keep coming back to. And I'm pretty sure these are going to end up on a canvas on my wall some day. 

 “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

When going through the storm, I find myself at times giving thanks and at rest, and then all of a sudden out of no where I'll get so angry and start playing the blame game. Have you ever had someone have such a huge influence on your life and the lives of others and you feel like they are to blame for everything that is happening? I do. I find myself thinking, "if only (so and so) would stay out of my life and leave us alone, none of this would be happening! I would be carrying on with my original plans and life may not be perfect but at-least it would feel right." But, then I come back to this verse and the first thing it says is, "Forget the former things! Do no dwell on the past." *sigh* Okay Lord! Turning my eyes forward to You. Then I read "See, I am doing a new thing! NOW it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Wow! Okay Lord! If I truly believe that He is Sovereign over every detail of my life, then I will truly believe with all my heart that regardless of other people and their decisions and how those decisions affect my life, HE is the One controlling it all and I will be at rest and at peace in Him. I am in that "wilderness" right now, and yet God doesn't see it as a wilderness. He sees this beautiful, new thing springing up from the ground with fresh life.

"Forget the former things! Do not dwell on the past."  Yes, Lord!
"Do not be anxious for anything!" Yes, Lord!
Give thanks in everything!" Yes, Lord!
"I am doing a new thing!!" Thank you Lord!
"No really! I am doing a new thing right now!" I believe! Open my eyes to see it Lord!

Lord, "My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but (You) God are the strength of my heart    and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:26 (parenthesis mine)

Isaiah 43:1-21

 But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in your stead.
⁴ Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.
⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west.
⁶ I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
    and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
⁷ everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

⁸ Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
    who have ears but are deaf.
⁹ All the nations gather together
    and the peoples assemble.
Which of their gods foretold this
    and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
    so that others may hear and say, “It is true.”
¹⁰ “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
    “and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
    and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
    nor will there be one after me.
¹¹ I, even I, am the Lord,
    and apart from me there is no savior.
¹² I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—
    I, and not some foreign god among you.
You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.
¹³     Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
    When I act, who can reverse it?”

¹⁴ This is what the Lord says—
    your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“For your sake I will send to Babylon
    and bring down as fugitives all the Babylonians,^[b]
    in the ships in which they took pride.
¹⁵ I am the Lord, your Holy One,
    Israel’s Creator, your King.”

¹⁶ This is what the Lord says—
    he who made a way through the sea,
    a path through the mighty waters,
¹⁷ who drew out the chariots and horses,
    the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
    extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
¹⁸ “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.
²⁰ The wild animals honor me,
    the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
²¹     the people I formed for myself
    that they may proclaim my praise.

Welcome to the Ramblings of my Crazy Wonderful

First things first. I'm not really a blogger. I really haven't had the time for it, nor the resources. For the past 8 years, we (my husband, kids and I) have lived overseas without reliable internet connection. Well, most of the time no internet connection at all in the middle of the rain forest.

Recently, I've had so much on my heart and mind as I try to navigate my way through many changes and heartaches. I need to somehow get these thoughts out of my head and on to paper, and somehow get some of these thoughts heard.

 Three kids finally asleep. So here I sit, alone in the dark, listening to music, praying to my Father, crying my tears, and learning how to feel His presence in my current situation all over again.

Starting this blog as an outlet, and hopefully an encouragement to others wrestling with some of the same thoughts and feelings. Maybe different circumstances, but the same struggle and the same God who hears us and seeks after us. The same Spirit who makes even the the groanings and longings of our hearts intelligible to Him when words fail us and we don't know how to pray anymore.

No commitments here to keep up with this blog. When I feel the need to post, I will. When I feel the need to let it go and focus my energies elsewhere, I will. No pressure is the only way I can roll these days. Thanks for reading along. Thanks for any words of encouragement you would like to leave in the comments.

With all that said...here it goes. Welcome to the ramblings of this girl's life that I like to call...crazy wonderful!

Sarah